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In this 8-minute episode, I broach the delicate and complex topic of grief and mortality. I reference two prior episodes on this topic: Episode #160 with John Dedakis and Episode #170 with Kelly Edmondson. I also discuss some of the insights from my current medical school course on the Humanities. Please let me know what you think!
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Welcome to the Art of Medicine. Today it's episode number three of the in-between episodes. I'm recording this on September 18, and this episode will launch uh in a couple days, September 20. And a topic has come up, as you know, it's just me during these uh in-between episodes. So we're going to talk for a little while about a topic that is uh been kind of omnipresent uh lately, and that's the concept of uh it's not light, of death and mortality. I'm the course director for our humanities course uh at the medical school, and some of our readings have to do with death as physicians, uh other types of caregivers, what do you do when a patient dies? And sometimes that death is sudden. You're taking care of lots of patients, you're in the hospital, and you get called, so-and-so died. And then you have to go and pronounce the patient dead and then go back to work. And there was a poem by a young physician about that, about how that particular individual reminded her of her father, who had recently died, and she had a very strong emotional response. And yet, as soon as she wrote the note, she had to go back to work, and there was really no time to process the event, and also how to process the event. And uh then sometimes we have patients who we can see are not the phrase I use is not headed in the right direction. You know, when you're sick, all you really need to do is be getting better. And as long as you're getting better, you're gonna get better. It may not happen on the time frame that you want, but if you're getting better, you're getting better, and that's great. But if you're not getting better or you're getting worse, that's a whole other story. And I realize that I've done two programs lately, one with a nurse, Kelly Edmondson, uh, who had worked as an ER nurse for 25 years, and her young son, Darius, who was about 20, had been diagnosed with epilepsy, but was living a full life working as a real estate agent, and then suddenly had something called PSUDEP, sudden unexpected death in epilepsy, which is very rare. But someone who is otherwise pretty healthy, except for the seizures, dies suddenly, like it's like the acronym, and it's a big shock. And this just happened a few years ago. Uh, needless to say, as a as a mother, this was uh overwhelming. And as a caregiver, she saw it through a different lens. And Kelly formed a company called Timely Presence that offers reminders to people who are grieving throughout the year because she observed that immediately after a death, there's a funeral, there are rituals, there are people who are there to help, or at least offer to help. But after a week or two, all these people disappear and they say, Call me if you need something, but of course you don't, and you don't even know what you need. And the grieving person is often alone. And one of the questions I wanted to ask you is are there any rituals, either modern rituals in society or rituals within your faith, that you think are particularly helpful for people who are grieving? One of the rituals that uh Kelly instituted in her family was she found that holidays, you know, Thanksgiving, Christmas, vacation time without Darius, were very difficult to deal with. And so her family decided that they would start new traditions, go on cruises, go on vacation, have a happy time, and bring some of Darius's ashes with them so at least he would be there, if not in body, in spirit. Uh, a new tradition for her family. I interviewed another fellow, John De Dakis, whose son died of a heroin overdose, and his sister had also died of uh suicide. So a lot of grief there. John had worked as an editor at CNN under Wolf Blitzer for years, and is a professional writer. He's written half a dozen novels, and he teaches writing, and is a manuscript editor and coach. And a lot of his novels have the theme of grief. And he also speaks on this topic and feels that it more light needs to be shed on this topic. There was another article that we discuss in our humanities class about a woman, a doctor who had a stillborn baby, which and she just could not get over this until she did some work in uh with an in um a native population where they had some ceremonies, um, community about uh grieving, and this uh this helped her. So I just wanted to throw this out there. Ask the question any rituals that you think are particularly helpful for people who are grieving? And also what do you think about you know, one of the awkward things is speaking about the dead. I remember I asked John, John, would you would you like to to tell us about your son Stephen, you know, who had a heroin overdose. And I was very uncomfortable asking the question, you know, is this just too delicate uh a topic to even bring up? But in fact, his response was thank you, thank you for the opportunity to talk about my son. So I wonder what you think about that. So it's just a topic that's been on my radar lately, and it's an important one. You know, it's not a popular one, but um, we all face death professionally, as as physicians, of course, and other healthcare providers, but also personally. You know, people we love pass away, and uh despite our efforts to the contrary, all of us will pass away. At least that's the tradition, since uh there's been the human race. So I thought I would uh try out this topic. So your feedback is uh welcome. Thanks for listening, thanks for watching The Art of Medicine. See you next time. This program is hosted, edited, and produced by Andrew Wilner MD, F A C P, F A A N. Guests receive no financial compensation for their appearance on the Art of Medicine. Andrew Wilner MD is a professor of neurology at the University of Tennessee Health Science Center in Memphis, Tennessee. Views, thoughts, and opinions expressed on this program belong solely to Dr. Wilner and his guests, and not necessarily to their employers, organizations, other group, or individual. While this program intends to be informative, it is meant for entertainment purposes only. The art of medicine does not offer professional, financial, legal, or medical advice. Dr. Wilner and his guests assume no responsibility or liability for any damages, financial or otherwise, that arise in connection with consuming this program's content. Thanks for watching. For more episodes of the Art of Medicine, please follow on YouTube or your favorite podcast player. Please share with your friends and subscribe. 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